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40 things that only people who live in Ibiza know

March 31 2020
There are a lot of myths about Ibiza, and anyone who has ever lived here will know they're not all true. Well, not all the time anyway. If you've ever spent any serious time in Ibiza, here are 40 things you and only you will relate to!

1. You can't imagine a meal in one of Ibiza's restaurants without devouring mountainous plates of pan payés, olives and alioli - and that's only the starter!

2. Your lazy Sundays are spent not watching box set after box set on Netflix, but rather at long, drawn out family meals where you consume your body weight in amazing home-cooked delicacies.

3. It annoys you that Ibiza is only shown on television or in films as the crazy island full of tourists from England, when in reality, that's only true for a few weeks of the year!

4. Whenever people find out you live in Ibiza, you get so sick and tired of hearing, "Wow, you live in Ibiza, that's amazing! So, you just spend all day and night partying, right?" Hmm, yeah, that's it. Who needs jobs when you've got Ibiza's famous nightclubs, eh?

5. But worst of all is when you meet people who think they know ALL about Ibiza just because they once spent a week on the island. Ten years ago.

6. You enjoy bragging about how easy it is to get around in Ibiza but the second you have to travel ANYWHERE without a car you collapse into tears and realise it's just impossible.

7. You agree that Ibicencos have a strange appreciation of temperatures, as we laugh at tourists in their bikinis and board shorts in spring whilst we're still wearing out thick coats and woolly hats.

8. Whatever the occasion, whatever the restaurant, you always finish a meal with a nice piece of flaó. Ibiza is the perfect island for foodies, after all.

9. You're only too aware that if you weren't born in Ibiza, there's no way you can call yourself a local. Ever. Only people who were born and raised on the White Isle can call themselves true Ibicencos.

10. And this happens so often you find yourself launching into a speech worthy of the Spanish tourist board the second someone mentions you're from there, listing all the historic, artistic and cultural sides of Ibiza.

11. Although you often complain about how small Ibiza is, you secretly love the fact you know everyone at your favourite clubs, and that you'll never have to pay to get in anywhere or make a reservation! It's easy to be a big name on campus when you live in lovely Ibiza...

12. You steer well clear of Dalt Vila most of the time (unless you have visitors who simply have to visit) because you just can't deal with all the slow-walking, photo-capturing holidaymakers.

13. You can't get enough of the age-old question, "Oh, wow, you're from Ibiza, that's near Madrid, right?" Yep, sure.

14. Each and every day in summer you long for the cool breeze of winter, a bit of shade from the blazing sun and refreshingly low temperatures. But the second winter rolls around you desperately count the days until boiling-hot summer comes back again. The circle of life.

15. You can't help but feel a little suspicious that none of your friends respond to your invitations to spend Christmas, Easter, basically any month in Autumn/ Winter/ Spring with you in Ibiza but the SECOND summer rolls around it's standing room only in your apartment. Hmm. Summer in Ibiza, eh.

16. You have to admit having more than just a little chuckle when you see plane loads of tourists arriving in their socks and sandals - and leaving a week later with their t-shirt tans and white patches where their sunglasses go.

17. You judge tourists for taking thousands of photos of streets and beaches and coastlines that are like very ordinary to you - but you do exactly the same every time you go on holiday!

18. You feel like screaming every time a tourist asks you where you really live, you know, after the summer season and you go home for winter. Yeah, right. Because nobody would actually want to live in Ibiza all year round.

19. You keep putting off going for a nice day out to Salinas beach because you'd have to drive over THAT bridge!

20. You brag about weekends at beach clubs and rooftop terraces, but really you're all about stocking up at the supermarket and hitting the beach closest to home.

21. You always know how small Ibiza is, but you only really notice it once you've been away for a while.

22. You can't help feeling a little guilty when people travel from all corners of the globe to explore your wonderful island - and you can't even be bothered to walk into Ibiza town or go to the beach!

23. You've got a dozen people called Toni, Maria and Joan living on your street.

24. You've stood on the San Antonio strip at 3am on an August evening and thought the apocalypse had well and truly arrived. But you had a great night, didn't you?

25. You've been to Formentera and thought, yeah, I love living in Ibiza.

26. You know the feeling of meeting a few friends for a couple of drinks and some tapas in a lovely bar on a Saturday afternoon, only to look at your watch two minutes later and realise it's midnight.

27. Taking the ferry to Formentera is something you've done loads of times, but you've never got used to how old that boat is!

28. People from Ibiza do not speak Spanish, no matter how many people think it...

29. "Oh, you're from Ibiza, you must spend all your paycheck on sun cream", is a statement you'll never get sick of hearing...

30. You have to endure months of driving a car that looks like a pile of rust, just because it never rains in summer...

31. But when it does rain, you can guarantee you've just spent hours and hours watering your plants and garden!

32. You’ve read all about the great bike riding and hiking trails in Ibiza but you’ve never quite got round to getting off your sofa to do it.

33. You’ve definitely had too much ice cream at Los Valencianos once or twice.

34. You’ve been to both waterparks and had more fun than you’d like to admit.

35. It really annoys you when people say there’s nothing cultural about Ibiza, what do they know! The Balearic islands are amazing!

36. Organising your summer holidays is so much easier when you already live in paradise.

37. You hate shopping during the high tourist season. Or driving. And going to the beach. Doing anything where other people may be, basically.

38. You understand that you’re part of Spain, but really Ibiza is a kingdom of its very own!

39. Whether you know how to speak Eivissenc or not, you definitely know how to say Adéu Mateu!

40. And although you joke about Ibiza, there’s nowhere on earth you’d rather live
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